You are What You Speak

https://youtu.be/PAJcMmyFCEg

Many in white America won't stop seeing us (African Americans) as disposable until we stop seeing each other as the enemy. This scene from Spike Lee's cult classic School Daze is profound on so many levels.

How'd we go from calling each other "brother and sister" to "nigga, and b--ch, and hoe"? And then say it's a sign of love, friendship, and camaraderie. Most of us wouldn't refer to our parents and elders that way, because we know it's disrespectful. So why are we so free to use it with our peers?  Our slave ancestors called other slaves "nigga" because that's what our opressors called us. It was a manipulative tool to divide us.  And it worked. Here we are hundreds of years later using the terms of our oppressors and have fooled ourselves into thinking it's a good thing.

Well I tell you what. If using the words "nigga" and "b**ch" and "hoe" aren't dehumanizing refer to your parents and children and grandparents that way. Speak it over your children's lives everyday. Tell your son he's a smart nigga, and your daughter she's such a bright b**ch. Tell your son you're so proud of the nigga he's become; and let your daughters know that black hoes rock, and that they are filled with black b**ch magic.

We have to watch our tongues, for it holds the power of life and death. What you consistently speak to a person is what they will believe and what they will eventually become.

*****Warning***** harsh language.
https://youtu.be/PAJcMmyFCEg

Vision Board Party

It's been on my to-do list for years but I'm finally going to complete the task of completing a vision board, and I'm extending an invitation to the VISION BOARD PARTY.

Many of us make New Year's Resolutions, but why not make mid year resolutions? Fall is swiftly approaching and 2016 will be coming to a close. Why not spend this month focusing on our plans and goals now? We can enter 2017 focused, and already moving towards our mark.

I'm asking that throughout the month of September we construct our vision boards. I'm an avid believer in visualization, and the law of attraction. I'd love to see your boards and hear how your goals were manifested into reality.

Land of the Free?

So Gabby Douglas didn't place her hand over her heart during the National Anthem. Who gives a crap? And how is this "Un-American" or disrespectful? I stopped saying the Pledge of Allegiance back in 1998 or 99. I sometimes stand out of respect for others but it's my right as an American who lives in a free country to not salute the flag if I choose. How can we live in a country that is a melting pot of cultures and prides itself on all its liberties and then criticize others for exercising their rights and liberties? Instead of America being the land of the free and the home of the brave its motto should be land of the double standard and home of the confused.

525,600 Minutes

As I pack to move I'm filled with mixed emotions. I feel anxious, relieved, excited...Before, my life was stagnant and I felt lost and without hope. Now it seems things are on an upward trajectory. My life is changing (personally and professionally) I'm taking more chances and the goals that I've set have become reality. I swear the past three years I've felt like my life was a mix between a Lifetime drama and a Tyler Perry movie; I'm in awe how I didn't succumb to the madness. All I can say is what a difference a year can make. Last year I wrote an entry titled "And This Too Shall Pass". Next year who knows what story I may have to tell. I can only anticipate that it's going to be something great.

James 2:26
As the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without deeds is dead.

Giving Birth to your Pain

As women I believe we are subconsciously taught to put on a brave face. So often we face insurmountable amounts of pain and let downs, but we keep everything to ourselves all bottled up inside and we just deal with it. Many mask their pain with alcohol, prescriptions, overeating, compulsive shopping, but on the inside you are dying and you just don't know how to cope with the issue you are facing.

As I face my own trials and tribulations God revealed to me an analogy that I pray will help other women. He showed me that trials are like giving birth. The pain is great. In many times the pain is unbearable but you can't stop pushing. You continue to push because you know that the result of your pushing is a beautiful gift on the other side, and if you stop pushing that beautiful gift could possibly die. You may have been given medication so that the pain is numbed but you must still endure the process of labor. Some labors are quick, and yet some are so long they seem like they may never end. But you stay strong and you stay committed to the birthing process.

If you lost your job...keep pushing. Your husband left...keep pushing. You didn't get the house you wanted...keep pushing. You didn't get the promotion...keep pushing. You didn't get the loan for your small business...keep pushing. You failed that course...keep pushing. I assure you what hurts now is only giving birth to something beautiful. Don't give up! Don't give in! Continue to labor, something beautiful is on the other end of your pain.

Time Is on My Side

Every woman has that one female friend who seems more like a robot than a person.  Her kids are impeccably dressed, she makes breakfast for her family every morning, she makes it in to work early, she prepares dinner, serves in her church and community, and still finds time to craft, blog, and find some odd entrepreneurial way to establish a supplemental income. You love her, but you know that you are a slovenly sloth in comparison.

As I've gotten older I've learned not to compare myself to others (as much), but I am curious to the behaviors of successful women. I'm lucky if I can manage a quiet moment to myself before 10:00pm, so how can I possibly conquer all the goals and tasks I've assigned to myself? The key is quite simple...TIME MANAGEMENT. After much thought I've come up with my five methods for effective time management.

1. BUY A PLANNER
Yeah I know, planners are so 1999; but seriously if you use them they work. A basic calender from any dollar store will do. They're great for jotting down appointments and meetings.

2. PLAN AHEAD WEEKLY
Yes that's right, "weekly". Making a to-do list is essential to completing everyday monotonous tasks. I can not tell you how many doctor's appointments have gone overdue all because I thought I would remember to make the phone call. You're already pre occupied enough throughout the day, and by the time you remember to set your appointments you're three months past due for your papsmear. Making a list and checking it twice will ensure that you get the little things done. For me nighttime is the perfect time to orchestrate my list. I find a nice comfortable quiet place in the house, pour myself a glass of wine, and cozy up on the sofa with my legal pad and planner. You high tech individuals can feel free to use your BlackBerry or PDA or whatever the newest technological device may be.

3. PUT YOUR PHONES DOWN
Remember the good old days when all your phone could do was make phone calls? We waste countless hours mindlessly rummaging through the mass amounts of apps and social media on our cell phones. One quick "double tap" turns into 2 hours of replying, liking, and screenshots of memes. Lately I've taken up the practice of not visiting any social media sites until 6pm. I will admit it hasn't been easy (I fell off the wagon today) but when I stick to the plan I find that I get so much more accomplished. The first day I started I actually read the newspaper, how retro.

4. SET REALISTIC GOALS
We often get swept away with the idea of being all that we can be. We want to be the absolute best employees, wives, and mothers giving everyone 100% of ourselves and making sure no one goes without. STOP DOING THAT! No one can do it all not even Oprah. If you've never ran a mile in your life, don't think you're going to get up and do it tomorrow. Instead start with a 30 min walk and over time work your way up to the run.

And most importantly...
5. GO TO BED EARLY
We all know the saying, "Early to bed, early to rise." Adequate rest not only ensures you'll wake up more energized and refreshed, it's also great for cell regeneration (that means less wrinkles ladies).

Keep in mind these are just my best practices. And although I'm not as successful as I aspire to be, if I'm disciplined and stick to my time management plan I will be.

***A goal without a plan is just a wish.
Antoine de Saint-Exupery
French writer (1900 - 1944)   

And This Too Shall Pass

So I was encouraged by a friend to blog about the new journey in my life. As some of you may know within the last year my relationship status has  gone from dangerously in love to me,myself, and I. Well not really me, myself, and I. More like me, myself, and two kids. But to quote Forrest Gump, "...life is like a box of chocolates..." screw it, you know the rest.

So here I am 34, single, and attempting to go back to school. I've actually begun my training for my teacher's certification. Sometimes when I'm studying I think to myself, "I'm actually studying to be a teacher!" The thought is completely surreal because all my life I was told that I should teach. And my response was always the same, "Ugh, a teacher?! Teacher's are overworked and underpaid; I'll never be a teacher." Even after teaching Sunday school for two years I still ignored the calling on my life. And yet here I am. I'm convinced that this entire plot was preordained, and as much heartbreak I've been through, I would have never stepped out on faith and embark on the journey I'm now on had it not been for life being a cruel bitch.

So I'm here,nonetheless, and I'm excited to see where my new journey leads me. I hope your are too because I plan on filling you in from time to time about where life is taking me.

Peace and blessings.