The end of an Era

On my way to work this morning as I listened to my pastor (Pastor Jackie Martin) preach on Paul and the "thorn" in his side. She spoke on how afflictions are made to humble us and grow us closer to God. It was at that exact moment I was rear ended and hit the car in front of me. My car is totaled but I'm alive and well, and thank God my children weren't with me. I got teary eyed as I saw the damage done to my vehicle. I didn't cry because I was sad. That car represented the first thing I bought after emancipation from my spouse. It was a triumph, a stepping stone into regaining my self confidence. But now I guess this is God's way of telling me that season has come to an end and a new one has begun.

Single Season

As my divorce draws near I'm finally learning to embrace my season of singleness (accompanied by my season of celibacy which is another blog in itself). I'll be the first to admit that divorce is a pain greater than death, but through all the heartache and pain there is a silver lining.

I'm learning to make the most of this time and do things I've always wanted to do followed with things I'd never imagined I could do. This evening I actually went to happy hour [dare I say] alone. Last year I could not have imagined such a feat. To sit alone...at a table...in public...and eat. Oh the horror! But when I tell you that not only did I sit, eat, and drink by myself; I also sang along to every song I knew, and in Spanish at that! Elvis Crespo's Suavemente never sounded so good.

To anyone who's going through a divorce or has left a toxic relationship please know it gets better. Life gets better, and that agonizing gaping pain you feel in your chest will subside. I'm not saying what I think, or what I've heard, I'm telling you what I know. The thing is that healing begins with you. Rebirth begins with you. No one can make you do it, you have to decide when you've finally had enough of lying in the bed drowning in your sorrow and tears. When you've had enough of stumbling in a drunken stupor daily, and when you've had enough of just going through the motions and existing instead living. You'll get up. You'll live again. You'll feel comfortable dining alone. And prayerfully one day you'll love again.

Peace and Blessings

You are What You Speak

https://youtu.be/PAJcMmyFCEg

Many in white America won't stop seeing us (African Americans) as disposable until we stop seeing each other as the enemy. This scene from Spike Lee's cult classic School Daze is profound on so many levels.

How'd we go from calling each other "brother and sister" to "nigga, and b--ch, and hoe"? And then say it's a sign of love, friendship, and camaraderie. Most of us wouldn't refer to our parents and elders that way, because we know it's disrespectful. So why are we so free to use it with our peers?  Our slave ancestors called other slaves "nigga" because that's what our opressors called us. It was a manipulative tool to divide us.  And it worked. Here we are hundreds of years later using the terms of our oppressors and have fooled ourselves into thinking it's a good thing.

Well I tell you what. If using the words "nigga" and "b**ch" and "hoe" aren't dehumanizing refer to your parents and children and grandparents that way. Speak it over your children's lives everyday. Tell your son he's a smart nigga, and your daughter she's such a bright b**ch. Tell your son you're so proud of the nigga he's become; and let your daughters know that black hoes rock, and that they are filled with black b**ch magic.

We have to watch our tongues, for it holds the power of life and death. What you consistently speak to a person is what they will believe and what they will eventually become.

*****Warning***** harsh language.
https://youtu.be/PAJcMmyFCEg

Vision Board Party

It's been on my to-do list for years but I'm finally going to complete the task of completing a vision board, and I'm extending an invitation to the VISION BOARD PARTY.

Many of us make New Year's Resolutions, but why not make mid year resolutions? Fall is swiftly approaching and 2016 will be coming to a close. Why not spend this month focusing on our plans and goals now? We can enter 2017 focused, and already moving towards our mark.

I'm asking that throughout the month of September we construct our vision boards. I'm an avid believer in visualization, and the law of attraction. I'd love to see your boards and hear how your goals were manifested into reality.

Land of the Free?

So Gabby Douglas didn't place her hand over her heart during the National Anthem. Who gives a crap? And how is this "Un-American" or disrespectful? I stopped saying the Pledge of Allegiance back in 1998 or 99. I sometimes stand out of respect for others but it's my right as an American who lives in a free country to not salute the flag if I choose. How can we live in a country that is a melting pot of cultures and prides itself on all its liberties and then criticize others for exercising their rights and liberties? Instead of America being the land of the free and the home of the brave its motto should be land of the double standard and home of the confused.

525,600 Minutes

As I pack to move I'm filled with mixed emotions. I feel anxious, relieved, excited...Before, my life was stagnant and I felt lost and without hope. Now it seems things are on an upward trajectory. My life is changing (personally and professionally) I'm taking more chances and the goals that I've set have become reality. I swear the past three years I've felt like my life was a mix between a Lifetime drama and a Tyler Perry movie; I'm in awe how I didn't succumb to the madness. All I can say is what a difference a year can make. Last year I wrote an entry titled "And This Too Shall Pass". Next year who knows what story I may have to tell. I can only anticipate that it's going to be something great.

James 2:26
As the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without deeds is dead.

Giving Birth to your Pain

As women I believe we are subconsciously taught to put on a brave face. So often we face insurmountable amounts of pain and let downs, but we keep everything to ourselves all bottled up inside and we just deal with it. Many mask their pain with alcohol, prescriptions, overeating, compulsive shopping, but on the inside you are dying and you just don't know how to cope with the issue you are facing.

As I face my own trials and tribulations God revealed to me an analogy that I pray will help other women. He showed me that trials are like giving birth. The pain is great. In many times the pain is unbearable but you can't stop pushing. You continue to push because you know that the result of your pushing is a beautiful gift on the other side, and if you stop pushing that beautiful gift could possibly die. You may have been given medication so that the pain is numbed but you must still endure the process of labor. Some labors are quick, and yet some are so long they seem like they may never end. But you stay strong and you stay committed to the birthing process.

If you lost your job...keep pushing. Your husband left...keep pushing. You didn't get the house you wanted...keep pushing. You didn't get the promotion...keep pushing. You didn't get the loan for your small business...keep pushing. You failed that course...keep pushing. I assure you what hurts now is only giving birth to something beautiful. Don't give up! Don't give in! Continue to labor, something beautiful is on the other end of your pain.