The end of an Era

On my way to work this morning as I listened to my pastor (Pastor Jackie Martin) preach on Paul and the "thorn" in his side. She spoke on how afflictions are made to humble us and grow us closer to God. It was at that exact moment I was rear ended and hit the car in front of me. My car is totaled but I'm alive and well, and thank God my children weren't with me. I got teary eyed as I saw the damage done to my vehicle. I didn't cry because I was sad. That car represented the first thing I bought after emancipation from my spouse. It was a triumph, a stepping stone into regaining my self confidence. But now I guess this is God's way of telling me that season has come to an end and a new one has begun.

Single Season

As my divorce draws near I'm finally learning to embrace my season of singleness (accompanied by my season of celibacy which is another blog in itself). I'll be the first to admit that divorce is a pain greater than death, but through all the heartache and pain there is a silver lining.

I'm learning to make the most of this time and do things I've always wanted to do followed with things I'd never imagined I could do. This evening I actually went to happy hour [dare I say] alone. Last year I could not have imagined such a feat. To sit alone...at a table...in public...and eat. Oh the horror! But when I tell you that not only did I sit, eat, and drink by myself; I also sang along to every song I knew, and in Spanish at that! Elvis Crespo's Suavemente never sounded so good.

To anyone who's going through a divorce or has left a toxic relationship please know it gets better. Life gets better, and that agonizing gaping pain you feel in your chest will subside. I'm not saying what I think, or what I've heard, I'm telling you what I know. The thing is that healing begins with you. Rebirth begins with you. No one can make you do it, you have to decide when you've finally had enough of lying in the bed drowning in your sorrow and tears. When you've had enough of stumbling in a drunken stupor daily, and when you've had enough of just going through the motions and existing instead living. You'll get up. You'll live again. You'll feel comfortable dining alone. And prayerfully one day you'll love again.

Peace and Blessings